C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
either way he was missing a nipple.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
