Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
