First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
