I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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