her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
