when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
