Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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