Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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