i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
