So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
