is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
