I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
