This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
