He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
