i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
