READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
