Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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