The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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