i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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