What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize