Where is the hickey?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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