I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
