I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
