All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
