the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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