Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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