Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
