ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
