scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
