My sheets look like a crime scene.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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