he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
