We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Randomize