I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
