so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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