dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
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