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The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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