Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
