I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
