id be glad to
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
