ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
