For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize