i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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