everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
