I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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