Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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