I'm going to jail i love you
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize