Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
