Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
