If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
