Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
He kissed a someone with a penis
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
