what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize