oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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