so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
