He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
be right there i have to get my cape
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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