I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
