I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
