corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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