chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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