He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
