I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
