I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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